It’s sometimes hard to put a name to the problems that we have. You might have specific worries, or you might have a general sense of unease or unhappiness.  Even if these issues are hard to identify, they can still be a roadblock to your ability to live fully and explore your joys, desires, and potential.  We may share these feelings with a friend, or with a sister, but more difficult problems often require more than that friend can offer. I can give you specilaized, in-person therapy and expertise because you deserve guidance, support, and space to process the difficulties that you face.

Talking with me is different from talking to your best friend. Not only because I am guaranteed to be here for you when you need me, but also because I have specialized degrees and training–I can show you strategies and tools to work through your problems, and I can teach you as you learn to use them. I can also follow up with any necessary support that you need as you figure out how to apply these skills to new areas of your day-to-day life. 

What I offer is very different from a self-help book or a three minute tik-tok video. I teach you how to approach decisions and problems that feel insurmountable by breaking them down into smaller and do-able pieces.  We will collaborate and personalize all of the methods so that they’re what’s best for you.

There’s no one quite like you, and together we’ll find ways to both celebrate the person you are and to work on the problems that are unique to your experiences and personality.

Parenting is one of the most difficult challenges we’ll ever take on, and most of us don’t have a plan when we begin it.

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but often that’s what we're trying to be. We may not have said “I want to be perfect,” but we wonder where we went wrong, questioning and re-thinking how we could have made the “right” choice, even though perfect decisions are seldom obvious, or even possible. 

We want to give our children everything we wish we could have had—whether it’s things to buy, educational or professional opportunities, or relationships. This is normal and expected, but often these are what we wanted for ourselves, and our world then was different from our children’s world now. We know that everyone in the world is different from one another, so why are we raising our children as if they were a mini version of ourselves?

We need to keep our children safe as they explore their own individuality, and we need to guide and teach them to seek and achieve their own goals.  We also need to teach them a consistent set of values to use when they navigate the world, such as the ability to give all people the respect they deserve, and the confidence to demand that respect in return.  When we have strong values to live our lives by, we have tools to cope with difficult people or situations in the world, allowing us to grow into the people that we choose to be. A common problem with parenting, though, is sometimes parents themselves aren’t sure of what these values should be.

The thing is, it’s never too late for us to figure out what our plan and values are. It’s easy to forget this and feel angry or disappointed in ourselves because we falsely imagined the ways we “should” have been and the things we “should” be sure about. Honestly, though, this kind of wisdom is more about the journey, because how we behave from here on out becomes who we will be. 

Heal your own mental health first: this is how we can parent better. If you’re looking for some help with parenting, then you’ve already started your new journey. It’s fantastic that you’re right here, right now, figuring out how to make changes. Let’s do it together. Don't worry, I’ve got your back.

Menopause - “You’re So Grown Up!”

As women, we don’t talk about menopause like we talk about other changes in our bodies. It’s no secret that bodies develop and change over a lifetime: babies get bigger, grow up, learn to walk, and begin exploring the world. As parents, we encourage questions because we want our children to communicate and explore things, and we want them to feel supported while they do it. When our children are worried or scared we give them explanations/answers, telling them things to help them understand more about what’s normal, and what they can expect from life. 

As parents and aunties we’re also eager to brag or share about a child’s new stage of development and celebrate the stages as victories and give praise like, “Yay! Look at you!” and say, “You’re so grown-up!” 

Even when our kids hit adolescence, it’s a time that we recognize as a normal part of growing up and consider it a type of new beginning. Sexuality and adulthood brings new responsibilities. The changes may be scary for both the child and the parent(s) but, ideally, we talk about them and answer questions. We may not be bragging to our friends as often about these changes but we’ll often share our worries and commiserate with each other, “Wow, you won’t believe what happened!”. Still, we talk about the changes.

It’s much different when a woman’s body transitions into menopause it’s not so much a time of bragging. “Hey girl, my vagina is soooo dry!” or “I haven’t wanted sex in forever… and I miss it.” or “I haven’t had sex in forever… and I don’t miss it.”. Menopause isn’t the time of life that we share with our kids either, so that they might know better what to expect.

Menopause is a stage of life that every woman born with a uterus and fallopian tubes goes through, yet most often it’s not something we talk about. Likely, we don’t have the experience to know how to talk about it because our mother’s and grandmother’s probably didn’t talk about it with us. When we don’t talk about major changes in our life we feel alone with them and are more likely to worry that no one else feels the way we do.

 I want to help you navigate through the hard stuff.  I specialize in Women’s Issues so there’s no need for you to feel alone or lost during this stage of your life.

Trauma is more common than you may think, and it happens when we have had to survive experiences that we weren’t ready for.

Many of us don’t realize that we’re suffering from trauma, especially when we tell ourselves that our experiences “aren’t as bad” as other people’s, or when our trauma doesn’t look like what we have seen in movies.

Trauma may have started in childhood when we felt unsafe or when things felt unpredictable, or when we, as children, had to take on parental roles and responsibilities that we weren’t ready for.

Some of us develop trauma after experiencing abuse or assault. In fact, women will often minimize these experiences because our culture makes these types of things seem normal. As though it’s a rite-of-passage, and women should get past it if we want to see ourselves as strong.

Trauma develops following experiences where we felt emotionally unprepared and helpless. When this happens, over time, we can feel really negative feelings about ourself and these feelings start to seem normal and lead to other issues, like depression and anxiety.

For many, the idea of life without anxiety and depression is unimaginable. It’s almost as if these negative feelings are useful and motivate us to get through each day.

Unresolved trauma keeps us from moving forward and succeeding in ways that we want to. This is the way trauma affects us, but it doesn’t have to. If you come to see me I can help you learn tools to identify, process, and work through your trauma. I offer you a safe, trusting and therapeutic environment.

Call me. I have the tools, so let’s talk and figure it out.